In the last three weeks, I’ll have been away from Baby London for six nights. That’s a lot of missed time. Many Mum’s find it hard to be parted for even just one night, and here I am knowing I have another night coming up where I won’t be with my baby.
It makes me feel sad.
It makes me feel like a bad Mum to be honest.
But it’s been unavoidable really. For four nights I was away in Italy for a friend’s wedding. Another night I was celebrating my Birthday after BritMumsLive and the final night will be this Thursday when I’ll be in Paris filming for a family brand I can’t yet disclose.
Each day Baby London is learning and achieving more and more. He’s currently on form to start crawling soon, he’s learnt to prop himself up and rock backwards and forwards on his hands and knees. I would hate to miss the first time he crawls.
As it stands I’m a full-time blogger. I’m not a full-time working Mum. So for working Mum’s I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. Getting home in the evenings and just having time to put a sleepy child to bed is not something I think I would cope well with.
When I got back to my parents place on the Friday night (first night of BritMumsLive), Baby London was already asleep and I missed him so much I actually moved him while he slept from his travel cot into my bed. I needed to be near him.
Even though I know he’s completely happy with his Lola (Grandma in Filipino), I hate to think he might possibly forget me. Or actually learn to prefer someone else to me.
I know that must sound stupid. But in recent weeks I feel like I’m bringing him back to my Mum more times than I’d like. And when I pick him up he’s just ‘older’. He just matures every time I’m away from him.
My Mum does a fabulous job looking after him, and he loves her. His little face beams when he sees her every time she opens the front door for babysitting duties. I love the fact he remembers who she is. I trust her when it comes to his care. And really that bond is just so special I like to see it.
But I still can’t help feeling that I’m missing out on that time with him. And it’s these early days which go so quickly.
So why be away from him I hear you ask?
Well the wedding was an important event, and a much-needed break actually. The other days are to do with pursuing my dreams of becoming a ‘successful’ blogger (whatever that means). For me I’m hoping a bit of sacrifice will lead to a lifestyle where I can remain at home with Baby London and be the best Mum he could ever need. I’m not talking about monetary benefits, I’m talking about everything really. I’m not sure how I’d define myself as successful if ever the day came!
But where’s the line? How do you know when blogging takes over your life to the extent your little one suffers. Or really am I just being too hard on myself. Blogging events have meant I’m away from him for two nights in total.
Maybe I feel like this because I know I have a night away from him coming up and I’m preparing myself to miss him.
How have you found a happy work/child balance? Any tips would be much appreciated!