After having a baby I think it’s really easy for us ladies to concentrate solely on that new little bundle. After all it’s the product of a loving relationship in most cases and so we throw ourselves heart and soul into caring for this most magical creation.
And it’s that loving relationship that often takes a back seat during those special months as a new family.
Poor MrLondonMum has seen me at my worst. Any man who is around after a woman gives birth truly sees their partner at their worst (unless you happen to be one of the
annoying few that seem to look completely human again straight away)! Post caesarean, my body actually jiggled like jelly as I walked waddled due to the massive amount of fluid retention (click here to see my birth post which ends with a picture of my jiggly body)! With hormones flying all over the place he had to deal with my occasional break downs (which petered out by 6 weeks post). And although I moaned about no sleep he didn’t get much either.
With all my attention on Baby London and trying to get myself back to normal, MrLondonMum has been somewhat in the background. And I’m sure a lot of Mum’s are guilty of doing this.
In all honesty it’s hard to keep the romance going when you feel insecure and you’re tired. Every tiny issue becomes a BIG issue and date nights seem impossible.
Well date nights are impossible…! So far our date nights usually end up with a bottle of wine, some cheese and Fargo or Game of Thrones on catch up. With a baby you can’t exactly leave the house whenever!
But with my body getting back to normal (thanks to MuTu) and having now somewhat established what Motherhood is all about I think it’s time to concentrate on the relationship again.
This weekend we’re heading off to Italy for a friend’s wedding. There’s a no child policy. I totally understand that policy. If I didn’t have Baby London I’d probably choose a no child policy as well (having gone to a Wedding where the Bride walked down the aisle to the sound of the Wedding March infused with the sound of a screaming baby didn’t exactly make me think ‘glorious wedding’).
So this weekend it’ll just be us. MrLondonMum and me.
For many new Mum’s the idea of going away and leaving the baby at home fills them with dread, but actually I’m looking forward to it. I know Baby London will be in the best of hands with my Mum (plus I’ll be skyping and using viber daily to check on him and leaving an incredibly long list of do’s and don’ts), and I can give my wonderful partner some much-needed attention (I may scrap the wonderful bit by the time we get home again… we’ll see!).
We’ve just not had the chance to catch up properly as individuals since Baby London was born. And that’s the thing. I think it’s important that we maintain who we are. We were individuals with dreams and passions before we got together and we can’t forget that. For me, a happy home starts with Mum and Dad being happy. For Mum and Dad to be happy sometimes we just need a little bit of couple time to remember who we were and why we fell in love in the first place.
Because after a baby arrives every thought is filled with what the baby needs or wants, or what the baby might need or want next.. it’s a never-ending cycle, which becomes exhausting. Being a Mum is a role I wouldn’t trade for anything, but a ‘time out’ to restore my depleting energy reserves will be extremely welcome.
So I’m on countdown mode, we may only be away for a long weekend (I’m not sure a could do a full week without Baby London), but it’ll be so good to just relax in each others company again. Just me as me and him as him.
Do you have any tips for keeping the romance alive while raising a family?