Relationship Reality Post Baby

After having a baby I think it’s really easy for us ladies to concentrate solely on that new little bundle.  After all it’s the product of a loving relationship in most cases and so we throw ourselves heart and soul into caring for this most magical creation.

And it’s that loving relationship that often takes a back seat during those special months as a new family.

Poor MrLondonMum has seen me at my worst.  Any man who is around after a woman gives birth truly sees their partner at their worst (unless you happen to be one of the annoying few that seem to look completely human again straight away)!  Post caesarean, my body actually jiggled like jelly as I walked waddled due to the massive amount of fluid retention (click here to see my birth post which ends with a picture of my jiggly body)!  With hormones flying all over the place he had to deal with my occasional break downs (which petered out by 6 weeks post).  And although I moaned about no sleep he didn’t get much either.

With all my attention on Baby London and trying to get myself back to normal, MrLondonMum has been somewhat in the background.  And I’m sure a lot of Mum’s are guilty of doing this.

In all honesty it’s hard to keep the romance going when you feel insecure and you’re tired.  Every tiny issue becomes a BIG issue and date nights seem impossible.

Well date nights are impossible…! So far our date nights usually end up with a bottle of wine, some cheese and Fargo or Game of Thrones on catch up.  With a baby you can’t exactly leave the house whenever!

But with my body getting back to normal (thanks to MuTu) and having now somewhat established what Motherhood is all about I think it’s time to concentrate on the relationship again.

This weekend we’re heading off to Italy for a friend’s wedding.  There’s a no child policy.  I totally understand that policy.  If I didn’t have Baby London I’d probably choose a no child policy as well (having gone to a Wedding where the Bride walked down the aisle to the sound of the Wedding March infused with the sound of a screaming baby didn’t exactly make me think ‘glorious wedding’).

So this weekend it’ll just be us.  MrLondonMum and me.

For many new Mum’s the idea of going away and leaving the baby at home fills them with dread, but actually I’m looking forward to it.  I know Baby London will be in the best of hands with my Mum (plus I’ll be skyping and using viber daily to check on him and leaving an incredibly long list of do’s and don’ts), and I can give my wonderful partner some much-needed attention (I may scrap the wonderful bit by the time we get home again… we’ll see!).

We’ve just not had the chance to catch up properly as individuals since Baby London was born.  And that’s the thing.  I think it’s important that we maintain who we are.  We were individuals with dreams and passions before we got together and we can’t forget that.  For me, a happy home starts with Mum and Dad being happy.  For Mum and Dad to be happy sometimes we just need a little bit of couple time to remember who we were and why we fell in love in the first place.

Because after a baby arrives every thought is filled with what the baby needs or wants, or what the baby might need or want next.. it’s a never-ending cycle, which becomes exhausting.  Being a Mum is a role I wouldn’t trade for anything, but a ‘time out’ to restore my depleting energy reserves will be extremely welcome.

So I’m on countdown mode, we may only be away for a long weekend (I’m not sure a could do a full week without Baby London), but it’ll be so good to just relax in each others company again.  Just me as me and him as him.

Do you have any tips for keeping the romance alive while raising a family?

thelondonmum

13 Comments

  1. Have a wonderful time! I always feel guilty even when having a few hours off to go out, but it does both of you so much good! Enjoy!!!!

    • I wonder when the guilt thing stops… but yes that time off will do wonders. Even when I have an hour to myself just to recharge I feel more able to deal with everything! A long weekend is going to make me feel like a new person! And I think a weekend break as a couple is exactly what we both need 🙂 x

  2. It is hard, that is the one thing that shocked me about having a baby. Just the tiredness you feel and the way that all of a sudden you really have to make an effort. In some ways having our girls has made myself and my husband even closer than we were, like you say we have seen each other at our worst and we both played a part in creating our family, but at the same time we argue more, don’t make as much of an effort as we used too and rarely spend alone time together. It’s definitely something we have to work on more.

    • It’s the effort thing really isn’t it? When he’s not working MrLondonMum is here, but we just slump into our cosy life. As great as that is it’s perhaps getting too comfortable and I don’t want us to end up as a couple that no longer have that attraction or spark. Effort required! lol x

  3. Have a wonderful time! I would love to do this and my 1 year old would be absolutely fine as he is quite happy being left with, well…anyone!…now all I need to do is find someone who is willing to look after him! Seriously though it’s so important and I’ve really neglected our relationship over the past year, I really hope we get some alone time soon 🙂

    • It’s so easy to neglect the relationship though because it’s no longer a top priority. Hopefully this will do us the world of good and we’ll both put more effort in in the future too! x

  4. What a great post! I’m 6 weeks post birth now and am starting to realise the importance of making sure you keep putting in the effort to your relationship as well as your role as a new mum. My husband and I are arguing over stupid stuff now due to lack of sleep where as before we never ever (honestly!!) argued. It’s weird to be like this but we’re up visiting my home just now (Scotland) so will make the most of Granny and Grandad being around to babysit!! Hope you enjoy the wedding 🙂 x

    • Sleep deprivation leads to all sorts of arguments lol. It’s hard to make sure you put in time as a couple but hopefully now I’ve realised it it will be something I’m more conscious of. Definitely take advantage of the Grandparents 😉 xx

    • I’m going to make the most of it, I’m not sure when it will happen again! A no baby wedding is a great excuse 😉 x

  5. Pingback: La Dolce Vita | TheLondonMum
  6. I love having date night with my hubby. It doesn’t happen very often but we make the most of it while we are out. I definitely feel less guilty now that my daughter is nearly three as I know she has fun with her grandparents or close friends while we are out. It may seem silly but I just miss instead! I hope you had fun at the wedding. x

    • It was a brilliant weekend! There is always going to be that guilt I think, but Baby L was so happy with my Mum all weekend that I know I shouldn’t feel guilty! x

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